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Thu, 23 Oct 2008 |
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| Pickup Artist Fashion Pt. 2 | |||||
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(continued from part 1)
I've tried peacocking myself. I did this maybe a couple times when I heard that other guys were doing it, just to see if it worked. I felt ridiculous, and was totally incongruent with my personality when I went out. But we all know that women pay attention to fashion, and like a well-dressed man. When I was in my workout clothes, or was wearing something basic - like jeans and a tanktop, I noticed that some of my best pickups occurred in there. At the same time, women definitely did not respond well to those muscled-up guys wearing revealing spandex, or super-tight shirts at the club. This got me thinking...maybe it's not how much the clothes cost, or how flashy they are... Maybe there's something else aside from that. Actually, there are two things going on, and you must manage, or balance these two things. First, avoid seeking approval from women. You are toast, if a woman can tell you that you are trying to impress her and make her like you. Women will see you coming a mile a way and put up their defenses if you look like you got dressed with the intention of getting their attention. You DON'T have to look like a pick up artist. To dress modestly and not put too much thought into it avails much. However, you don't want to look sloppy. You want to present yourself in the best way you can. This comes back to self-expression. You already have a sense of what kind of guy you are, what your "scene" is, what you think is cool. Never change that. Instead, improve it, with these simple tweaks. This isn't a rocket science. Wear colors that appeal to your skin tone and hair color. Go to an upscale men's clothing store, and ask someone about this. Or look online. Next, make sure your clothes are clean, and wrinkle free, and reasonably up-to-date. A woman should not have to worry about bringing you around her friends. Lastly, make sure your clothes fit well, meaning, they ACCENTUATE YOUR MASCULINE PHYSIQUE. Wear shirts that narrow your waist, and square your shoulders. Put on a pants that make your legs look long and thin. Wear shoes that make your feet look big and well-formed. Clean up yourself - nose, neck, and ear hairs. Get a respectable haircut. Figure out what looks great for if you shave or not to shave, and take it all the way. Another thing... Accessories should hang off you loosely, and have the look of a small decoration that says, "yeah, I can fuck." Use your intuition with this one. I don't want to say too much because that's a whole other topic. |
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Posted 22:40 No comments | Post a comment |
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Mon, 06 Oct 2008 |
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| What The Pickup Artist on VH1 Wont Tell You About Fashion 1 | |||||
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I am NOT the most fashion savvy guy in the world.
Usually the one who pick out clothes for me is my girlfriend - not for MY benefits… … but so that she doesn’t feel embarrassed when we go out in public together! If it were up to me, I’d wear sweats and a t-shirt all day, with some old worn out sneakers. I mean, I think fashion is pretty silly. I can absolutely appreciate the aspect of design and style of fashion. When I looked at the able-bodied dressed woman, her outfits is like of art, and I dig that. But when a man is “too stylish” I kinda lose respect for him. Don’t get me wrong, a man should present himself like he means to be taken seriously. A nice suit, good quality, well-fitting clothes are a fundamental part of masculine expression. But some guys take this so much. Case in point, the obsession with “peacocking” in the pickup Community for the past several years. It makes me cringe when I hear this term. YOU ARE NOT A PEACOCK. Let me explain what is “peacocking,” in case you’re not familiar. There was an emergence of routine-based “game” a while ago that rely heavily on superficial techniques, status games, and over-analysis of social interactions. I didn’t see the value of any of this, and have always gone in the opposite direction. Reason for this is that I saw how pretending to be someone other than yourself, and saying jokes and routines that other guys came up with JUST FELT WRONG. The PRIMARY FOCUS of all these strategy and game-playing was to visibly get approval from women, but making them feel insecure and they’d think you were cooler than them. Think about the layers in the dating approach. Not only are you faking your personality because you a) seek approval (as if women has an authority on what makes man a man) b) hide the truth that you’re looking for approval c) play games with women so that they will seek your approval when they feel insecure YUCK One of the main techniques of this approach was to “peacock,” to dress up in a really loud, ostentatious way so that women would “notice” you and want to talk to you. Wearing a nice watch, or a necklace isn’t a bad thing because some have personal meaning. I don’t want women to like me because of that. I’m sure a lot of you guys have seen the advocates of this approach on TV shows, straining to make sense out of this hare-brained “technique.” I felt sad to the students of other pickup schools that I’ve encountered because these poor guys were not only nervous, clumsy, misdirected…they looked RETARDED. So I’d like to set a record when it comes to fashion and meeting girls. There are only few things that you need to focus when it comes to your appearance. After you get this stuff handled, you should put it out of your mind, and not wait for women to notice you before you TAKE ACTION. Before moving on, I have something to expose. (Continued in Part 2) |
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Posted 21:54 No comments | Post a comment |
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Fri, 05 Sep 2008 |
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| Dating Tips: Adding Touch to Your Stories | |||||
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This is now the third part of the storytelling
technique.
And what I am about to share with you is a very powerful technique and it ties back into displaying your personality and bringing your characters to life. This technique is adding TOUCH to your stories. As an example of this would be like "My friend and I were walking over there like this... (lock arm in arm)." This really helps paint the picture of your story and get your audience more involved. Only hold whatever touch you are displaying for the appropriate part of the story. If you are using something like the arm and arm example, you would only do it for that short instance, not tell the rest of the story arm and arm. An example I would use in my story is when describing his weirdness would be "I would be talking with some of my friends and he would come up from behind me, stick his arm around me like this (put arm on girls shoulder and pull her in, give her a little shake, showing exactly what he did to me). The key for you not to look obvious is to continue telling your story while initiating the touch, and not looking at where you are touching or pausing and waiting for any form of reaction. Another fun thing to sprinkle into your stories is subtle hints that raise your desirability. These are all essentially tasteful ways to brag in your stories... without actually bragging. Now you don't need these but in some cases can add a special flare to your stories. These include mentioning other women in your life, having special social privileges, being the leader of your group, and doing things that make you stand out. In my story, I do often mentioning other women. And you can try this and you can change it to "friend" to "girlfriend" or name dropping by saying "my friends Lisa and Sarah" anything along those lines. This have to be subtle and never be the focused of your story. To make them theme authentic, do not provide an explanation for them. If part of your story involves you hooking up with multiple people, don't give an explanation for it, instead go on with your story, it's not the focus on the story and by not providing an explanation, it comes off as a perfectly natural thing that is no big deal. Once you have thrown in all these fun storytelling tactics it time to give it the once over. Cross off all unnecessary content and make sure your story is moving along and does not dies out. That is the biggest problem people make, they drag their stories out too long about things that don't affect the overall story. Be sure to eliminate redundancies. For now...you just have to aim for about 2 minutes stories. How much you share all depends on how your storytelling skills develop. A masterful storyteller could capture the audience attention for 20 minutes. But for now, focus on getting 2-3 solid minutes. Always make sure you are keeping eye contact, this will help hold the audiences attention and for you to look for clues of people fading out so that you know when to speed things up and get to the punch line. Looking back at the original example of... "So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home." So here is the FINAL revised version of my story. Enjoy: Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!" Group: "blah blah" Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo, you ever been? (Check in point)...Cool, anyway I walk in with a group of my friend Lisa and some friends she brought along. There is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this annoying vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone just clearly does not belong and seems out of place... kind of like that guy (Put arm on person from audiences shoulder and point to someone else outside the audience) So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...like you have no idea how bad it was, I would be talking to some of Lisa's friends and he would come up, stick his head between us and wrap us both in his arms and give us a little shake like this...(Do exactly what he did on them) And the worst part is he had this nasty...thick breath....oh it was terrible. (Random Story Telling Tip: Appeal to the senses, especially the smell, it is the least addressed and most memorable.) Anyway... my friends and I try to get away by going to the VIP floor and we have been drinking the free energy drinks all night and made a super tall pyramid out of cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table... and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know... that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened... it was full... so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! (Create dramatic spill scene around your crotch, getting the girl to look there, although sneaky, creates lots of subtle sensual messages) It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again... I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious! (Share a good laugh with your audience, initiate more touch if you so please, initiating touch during laughter is very powerful) There you see the dramatic changes these steps can make to any story. Before I make a conclusion....I want to leave you with a couple advanced story telling tips. -If you are telling the same story, increase vocabulary in it, use powerful verbs and adjectives to bring the story to life. -Always be painting a picture, appeal to all the senses when possible. -Start your stories at the end. If you ever saw the movie Fight Club you will notice how you are caught up into the story right from the beginning because you are curious to see how Edward Norton's character got himself in such a dangerous situation. You can start your story at the end then build up to really captivate your audience. -The more emotion you put into a story the better, the more emotion you show in a story, the more mistakes you can make because your emotion and commitment to the story covers all that up. -Avoid pauses like "ummmm and ugghhh" everyone has a bad habit when they stumble in there stories. -Do not memorize your stories. You don't want to sound like you are reading from a script, you want it to seem natural. It is possible to be too good at telling your stories and then it is almost like the listener is watching a scripted play. Just understand the concepts and events of your story, there should always be some slight differences when you tell your story. Practice telling it...but don't become a scripted narrator. -Lastly and most important to sum things up.... Do not tell your stories AT your audience...tell your stories TO your audience. Make sure they are always getting involved and as you are telling your story, keep your eyes open for cues in the interaction you do not always have time to look for. You pick up on different things if you are telling a story you know well, this is another way storytelling continues to improve your game. |
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Posted 02:42 No comments | Post a comment |
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Tue, 02 Sep 2008 |
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| Does Your Woman Know that You are for Real | |||||
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There are two questions I'd like to ask of you:
First, how do you let your woman know that the vibe you're putting off in the beginning is the real you? The other one is, How does she know that after she spent a night in bed with you all of what you said will be backed up? “Credibility” is the answer to these questions. Credibility is the key component if you want to sleep with a girl quickly. Most of men think they don't have enough value, due to lack of credibility. In fact, most of the tactics they used in creating value only serves to make a nasty woman-repelling player vibe. "Player vibe" is a mistake in building and maintaining credibility. Aside from credibility the other component is sexual tension. And as a good student of pick-up, you know that some women need sexual tension before they sleep with a guy and the other half need credibility first. (You do know that, right?) So let's get down to it: There are three levels of credibility. 1. Safety 2. Commonality 3. Direction Safety: Its the most basic and fundamental level of credibility, you need to demonstrate SAFETY before a woman will be alone with you and sleep with you. Commonality: You need to demonstrate commonality in order for a woman to continue sleeping with you, or have a relationship with you. Direction: You need to show direction in order to get a woman to leave her current boyfriend or change her existing life plans to be with you. A WORD ABOUT SOCIAL PROGRAMMING -> We must realize that every person we meet is socially programmed in a different way. We all do have our own social programmed. It's not really a bad thing. On the contrary, it's very useful. Men have an instinct of wanting to sleep with as many women as possible, on the other side women have instinct to choose guys who has demonstrate a high chance of sticking around to provide a home and raise their children. And this instinct is reinforced by social programming. Realize and understand that a lot of a woman's behaviors come from her social programming. Her programming is her reality and her world. And credibility is about showing you understand her world. At first, guys are usually good at meeting a certain kind of woman. It's because he naturally understands a certain type of worldview. But as you get good, you'll start to be able to match ANY woman's worldview. The best way of doing this is by anticipating her thoughts and verbalizing a woman's feelings or views about the world, as if it's your own. HERE'S AN EXAMPLE -> You are comfortably sitting in a chair in your bedroom. And then a guy came in. And telling you he was cold and wanted to turn up the heat. Then he told you he liked the sit on where you were sitting. And asked if he could urinate in the corner. That's pretty annoying, right? You might even think he's crazy. He's "in his own world".He's showing you that he's not seeing the same reality as you. And I bet you wouldn't trust a guy like that. Because he has shown you that he doesn't understand and respect your world - you probably wouldn't connect with him, or feel like giving him compliance. This is how women feel when you don't demonstrate credibility. If she thinks that it's a bad thing for people to kiss and tell (most women do) -> You should also show her a believe that it's bad for people to kiss and tell. Having the same perceptions about the world as her will vastly build your credibility. You can use of the three levels in this way: Safety - It's safe to have you in her world. Commonality - You see things in common to her world. Having same perceptions, values, and goals Direction - You have the ability to rearrange and influence her world. These are best demonstrated in order. Then you will get good at pacing her reality and leading. Eventually it gets to the point where you can intuitively understand her reality. Then she will trust you to change it for her. You enter her world, and then start teaching her new things about HER world. That's when you know you get this thing. And you can get really good at this. At first you will just be remembering things she's said in the past, and then repeating it after she's forgotten she's said anything. If someone comes along who understands a woman's reality so well, she doesn't just think he's perceptive and skilled, she just feels a connection. She thinks "He's just like me!" This is really the easiest thing in the world. Yet so many messes it. Once you'll get to this major piece, you'll see your game will improve vastly. |
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Posted 02:53 No comments | Post a comment |
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Thu, 28 Aug 2008 |
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| A Successful Way to Attract and Pick-Up Women | |||||
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One of the dominant thing in an interaction with a
woman is sexual tension.
Sexual tension is the energy or charge of an interaction. Its application is subtle but powerful and effective. There are many different concepts of sexual tension floating around in the seduction community. Some of these techniques are better than others, and can definitely improve the quality and success of your pickups. I prefer a very pure definition of sexual tension because it is grounded in real sexual desire, and a very natural way of magnifying the tension felt by the woman. Some examples of these are cocky bantering and flirting, explicit sexual interest paired with false barriers, using the word “sexy”, “you hot” to convey a sexual intent, and of course the old Speed Seduction route – complex language patterns intended to implant sexual thoughts in a woman’s mind. Controlled Sexual Arousal State Sexual tension is the presence of a controlled arousal state, in the absence of overt sexual interest. In a right time, I create sexual tension by focusing my sexual desire on my woman, but not doing any overt sexual advances. I maintain a sense of ambiguity, which keeps her focused on me, directing her mind toward sexual imagination. My state is transferred to her, and she is now aroused. It is then only a matter of handling logistics through leadership and compliance techniques. How to have a controlled arousal state It’s not as simple as just being turned on, although that’s part of it. State control is vital - if you are nervous or uncomfortable, you won’t be able to get sexually aroused. (State control is not only vital in seduction, but in life. It allows you to stay calm, generally happy, and more productive. In spiritual terms, it is sometimes called “staying centered” or having “peace of mind.”) The best way to stay calm and comfortable in social situations is experience. Socialize more, go out (sober), get experience talking to women. Meditation, good diet, avoidance of harmful indulgences like drug use, television, internet, and regular exercise all help. Creating Tension For the “getting turned on” part, raising your testosterone level will have an incredible effect. Natural ways to increase testosterone include heavy weight training (squats, deadlifts, bench press, etc.) zinc supplementation, eating lots of animal protein, and if possible, regular sex. You already know how to get aroused. During your interactions with women, simply focus on what she’d look like naked, or imagine having sex with her, or whatever fun little thoughts you want to entertain. There are two reasons why a sexually aroused state is so important. First, women love sex. A sexual man is valuable to a woman because he can give her pleasure. Women are attracted to men who are attracted to women. The second reason is more subtle. There is a phenomenon I call “state-transfer.” Have you ever been in a bad mood, and a friend came by in a really great, excited mood? Your mood probably changed, and you found yourself smiling and cheering up in spite of yourself. How do you feel around someone when they are nervous? You feel nervous too! Think of a time you were with a woman, say a girlfriend, and she was obviously very horny and sexually aroused, but you weren’t doing anything sexual. You probably got excited because she was excited. This is how humans hypnotize each other in every day life – we transfer our states to each other. State transfer may occur on a metaphysical, psychic energy level. But more so, a state is transferred with non-verbal sub communication. When you are turned on, your voice subtly (or not so subtly) reflects your state, as do your facial expressions, eye contact, manner of touching, body language, and a million other little things to numerous to try to micromanage. The tension component is really an extension of the second level of the Attraction Hierarchy - Intrigue. Intrigue can be described in two ways. It can be seen as a lack of over-validating a woman, or getting her attention fixated on you by being ambiguous and holding back information. These are flip sides of the same coin. Applied to sexual tension, we enter a sexual state, but don’t verbalize our desire. If we did, she may like it, or not like it, but at now she knows where she stands - she is validated. That isn’t bad, but it’s not optimal. She has you figured out, and knows you want her, which gives her the option of forgetting about you and focusing elsewhere. You are “solved.” Another key point about verbalizing sexual interest is that it puts her in a position where she has to agree to it. She must consciously admit that this is leading to sex. Again, that’s not bad, but is not optimal, and sometimes can create a mental block in her mind for getting isolated with you. Imagine sitting in a room with a closed treasure chest in front of you. Then you open it and find gold coins. When is the chest more interesting? True, the gold coins are great, but there’s no longer a mystery. You can even forget about the gold coins for a while to go watch TV or call a friend, because those coins aren’t going anywhere. But before you know what’s in there, that chest preoccupies your mind and keeps your attention. Once you have mastered that concept, you're well on your way. Vin DiCarlo |
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Posted 03:18 No comments | Post a comment |
